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Love, to Me…

Everyone is entitled to their own definition. Some may abide by more liberal views. Some are more constrained. Some of us put weight in demonstrative actions. Others treasure words, and expressions.

The ways we develop, recognize, and show romantic love, may differ in ways among the billions of people on this planet, but I believe there are qualities, and behaviors that are universal within all of us. The universal qualities are the things I hold dearest, and most deeply, when I define romantic love, and what it means to me.

To love someone. To really love someone, is to make them the center of your universe. I add the word, “really”, to emphasize this emotional state, because there are too many cases of this word, “love”, being used to describe other states of attraction, and attachment that are not the deep and committed love I’m sharing here.

Making someone the center of your universe, is as huge as it sounds. It is a tremendous magnetic pull on your life, that not only bathes you in its warmth and sunlight, but also shades parts of your life, that otherwise would exist, if not thrive, autonomously. This is the part of love that has no finish line. There’s no immediate reward that can be calculated. It’s a philosophical acceptance that requires sacrifice of the one, for the greater good of the two.

This is not to say that sacrifices should abound, and autonomy forsaken. Quite the contrary. A deeply committed love should always accommodate deep individual needs. What are we to each other, if we are nothing to ourselves?

But we are not all dovetailed parts that fit nicely into one another. We all have rough edges that need sanding, odd sizes, and shapes that need work because they don’t match up. Skilled carpenters get paid to make beautiful custom furniture. An alliance of true love, requires no less. We must be willing to be carpenters.